Sheltering Special Needs Kids

My husband and I have four beautiful boys. Our sons are 11, 9, and we have 5-year-old twins. Our four sons are smart, very energetic, love to laugh, and are very polite. Three of them also have autism.

Last month my husband went to a meeting at school for one of the twins. My husband is a very down to earth and friendly guy and the teachers like him very much. At the meeting one of teachers advised my husband that the teachers nicknamed him “SuperDad”. The teacher explained that the boys go to school and talk about camping, fishing, boating, going to the park, etc. The teacher asked him if he really does all these things with the boys. My husband replied yes.  The teacher stated that we call you “SuperDad” because we never hear of other parents who do so much with their children, especially parents with three autistic children (four children in all). My husband replied that we give all our boys the same experiences that a “normal” child would have.

Later that night my husband and I had the opportunity to reflect upon this conversation. We do know a number of parents who have children with autism. We compared and contrasted the way we raise our children and the way they raise their children. We realized that there are distinct differences (now is this true of all parents of autistic children, no, I am just speaking based upon my experiences).

Some of the parents that we know are very overprotective to the point that they shelter the child. I have observed parents who have both a child with autism and a child (or children) without autism, and I can see the difference in the exposure to the real world that they afford to the children.

The reason for sheltering could be that they are afraid of the way the child will be treated by others (we have had adults and children say horrible things to my sons when we are in public) or possibly taking the child to different places is physically and mentally exhausting (depending on the behaviors of the child and severity of the autism, the child may demonstrate behaviors that are hard to control or carrying may be required).

Now why did we take a different approach than others? Honestly, we did not think about it we just did it. We felt that it was necessary to provide our children with these experiences because if we shelter them when they get older they will not be able to handle life in the real-world. Now is providing our children the opportunity to obtain real-world experiences difficult? Absolutely! We get bit, kicked, yelled at, and often receive stares from others; however, one thing that we will not do is give up! Even though it may be a challenge to do these activities with our children it is worth it. We want them to do things and experience life in the “real world”. This has made my children more adjusted.

Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers (Timothy 4:16).