Saying “I Love You”

“I love you” – these three words are very powerful. Many people believe that when these words are first said it is indicative of a milestone in a relationship. Shortly after I met my husband “I love you’s” were exchanged. Throughout my marriage my husband has continued to tell me that he loves me at least ten times a day. At one point in time this frustrated me (when most women read this post will probably say that I am crazy).

Why did I not appreciate the “I love you’s” that I was receiving? I believed that if you say “I love you” too often it becomes said as a routine or it is expected and the intent is lost. In time my opinion on this topic has evolved. If I reflect back on my initial reaction to the phrase “I love you” I realize I was wrong because in addition to the words my husband’s actions backed-up his talk. If they did not there would be a problem. Without loving behaviors backing it up, saying “I love you” is just an empty expression.

My husband if a very loving man who is not afraid to share his feelings. Not all spouses feel as comfortable. I have had friends who have shared that they do not hear these words from their significant other very often. So the following questions remain:

• Does the absence of the words “I love you” being said mean that there is an absence of love? Not necessarily! Love can be expressed in verbal and non-verbal ways. Some non-verbal expressions of love include: Being considerate, hugging, kissing, eye contact, surprises, calling you just to talk and see how your day is going.
• Does the absence of actions mean that there is an absence of love? Not necessarily, but this may indicate that there is a need for more communication.

Although “I love you” can be expressed in both verbal and nonverbal ways, maintaining a happy medium between the two is ideal. Actions without words and words without actions may be indicative of a problem. Don’t ever give your partner the idea that your words or actions are meaningless or unappreciated. It is important that you continue to nurture and build your relationship through your words and your actions.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).